KJ

I was thinking today of my dear KJ (Karen Jacobsen). For sake of this is pretty much my journaling and scrap booking now days I am going to talk a little about her Let me explain how she came into our families lives.

KC and I met in Logan at work while we were working for the same company, NES (a group home for adults with disabilities). This was not however the first I had heard of KC... the first I had heard of him was from KJ. I met Karen through my roommate Allyson. She worked for NES and worked most of her hours with Karen. Many of my early memories of KJ were of her marching through our door in the early hours of a Saturday morning shouting hellos to all of us roommates, who were sound asleep in our bed. Or if perhaps Allyson had done something to make her mad she would come in screaming and yelling every curse word you could imagine to Allyson. Many of my interactions with Karen during these first months included stories of a guy who worked with her named KC... she had a giant love for KC and would tell me everything she knew about this guy!

Later as I got to know KC and we eventually became engaged we began discussions (I still cannot remember where or how these talks began) of how we could help Karen out. She was not doing well in her life up in Logan. Everything was far too easy for her into trouble. Logans buses are free so she could get anywhere she needed to... her boyfriend was supplying her with money that she shouldn't have... and if she was not getting the attention she wanted she would use that money to buy pills and take them so someone was forced to come get her to take her to get her stomach pumped. We were really concerned about her.

One day apparently we decided it would be a good idea to have Karen move in with us after we were married. We would become her host parents (it is sort of like foster parents). We got right to work and got her approved to live with us. She moved in about 2 months after we married!

This was the 3 of us on St. Patricks Day in the house we rented. Karen had a problem with eating. She would eat non-stop if we would let her. In this house we lived in together we had to buy a door and put it on the kitchen door and keep it locked so KJ could not get in and eat herself sick. We also had to take the cover off our heater controls so that she could not control the temperature. She would turn the heat to the mid 90's each night before we would die of heat and come out and change it. We had to get her a personal heater for her room. I still cannot figure out how a woman like her was always so cold. She would keep layers and layers of clothes on all the time during the winter too. We had to set a rule where she was only allowed 2 shirts on at a time or just a days worth of her clothes would equal more than one load of laundry.

Here is KJ with Jackson when he was a baby. Karen moved out the month before Jackson was born. Her behaviors were too extreme for us to feel safe trying to raise kids around. During my pregnancy we reached a point where KC no longer wanted me to be around her alone as she would threaten Jacksons life saying she would punch me in the stomach (luckily she only accomplished the punching part a time or 2).

Despite her behavior problems KJ had a tender little heart. This picture is of her trying to smile while crying at a fair up in Logan. They had this country singer guy come and for the life of me I can't remember what song he was singing but it just made her cry. She would also cry everytime she heard the song 'A Child's Prayer'. There was a good handful of songs that would bring her to tears. The woman could cuss like a sailor, but then would turn around and be the sweetest thing! Even when she was mad at you for something and would call your phone a hundred times leaving messages of curse words letting you know how much she never wanted to talk to or see you again she would end the message, 'ok, love you, bye' . That always cracked me up!!

We took Karen with us on a family trip back east. We visited Washington DC (where this picture was taken) and then went into Pennsylvania where we visited Hershey, the Amish towns, and our final destination of Shamokin where we attended the family parish picnic. Everyone was so good to KJ. I am pretty sure she had never walked so much in her entire life and was fully and completely exhausted. She was so sweet to even warn pretty much the entire plane on the trip out that she just might throw up!

Karen was a trip! I was so ready for her to move out when the time came, but I love that girl more than I can explain, and for reasons I can't explain. I don't miss the random pounding on the walls when she would decide in the middle of the night that she was mad... I don't miss never being able to leave her alone (and you can't just get a sitter for someone like Karen).... I don't miss her little tantrums or fits... There are lots of things I don't miss. But I love those girls random comments. I love that you could get her to do pretty much anything with the bribe of money, food, or a new puzzle book. I love the random stories she would come up with. I love the days when she would come home from her work singing random rap songs cause that's what the guys she worked with listened to. I would die laughing when she would sing Black Eyed Peas 'Lets Get Retarded In Here' about as proud as one with a disability could sing that song.

This is a very short bunch of stories and facts about her (and you probably thought this was a long post) but I just wanted to make sure some of this got written down for memories sake! KJ will always hold a special place in my heart. I love that girl!!