Fill a spot!

Sunday we had our ward conference at church. In Relief Society we had a member of the Stake Relief society teach our lesson. I can't lie... I have not had the best attitude in Relief Society lately. After I had Kambree I was struggling some. I had a small dose of the baby blues and was really frustrated with my life. I felt like I was doing the same thing everyday, but not getting anywhere. I had been praying for a good church calling to help me feel like I had more of a purpose than changing diapers all day long. Then that calling came: Enrichment Committee.... and I was so upset! I have had that calling for the past 5 years, minus about 6ish months. I felt so frustrated that I was stuck doing the same thing I had been doing. Therefore I have had a grumpy attitude about going to relief society.

Then this week happened and I had many of my prayers answered. Sunday morning began as our Sunday mornings often do... very chaotic! I can't figure it out, other than that Satan doesn't want us at church each week, but our Sunday mornings are crazy! As I had the kids in the bath I was sitting there thinking about how before I got married I was constantly being challenged. I was going to school, teaching Sunday School at church, a member of the inner chapter in IWA, and working full time. I felt like I was growing all the time on a personal level. Then I got married. When we got married we had a lady with disabilities move in and we cared for her. Shortly after she moved in I got pregnant. Due to her behavior problems I could never be alone with her cause there was always the chance she would hurt the baby. I then had Jackson and she moved out. Then Kambree came along. During all these years I have spent little time with my husband, due to him working full time and going to school full time. As I was sitting there thinking of all this I was getting annoyed. Why is it that I am stuck at home not growing at all while my husband gets to be gone all the time and is constantly learning and being pushed to be more.

I went into Relief Society not expecting much and the lesson began. She talked about the women we want to be like. She talked about how we fill a space. She talked about the great opportunity we have to teach our children and to support our husbands. I was touched so much by the spirit of that lesson. I felt the spirit talk to me and tell me that what I am doing right now is of worth. I knew that what I needed to do was stop complaining and start getting to work. I needed to put more effort in teaching my children. I need to enjoy the time I have at home with my kids. I need to be thankful that my husband is able to go to school and better himself. I need to be thankful that he has the calling he does where he is able to help others and to be more in tune with the needs of others. I realized that though I don't feel like I am doing much... my calling is one of the greatest callings out there. I can't remember the exact quote but she talked about how the world will be changed by the things taught at home... not by the things of the world. I have been blessed with 2 of the Lords children and I have the great opportunity to help them become all that they can. I need to complain less and work more and during all this I need to realize that I am someone. I am a daughter of God and I fill a spot. When I am not there or not doing the things I should be doing there is an empty spot.

I am so grateful for this gospel. I am so lucky to be a part of a church where I do have a calling... even if it's not my ideal one. I still fill a spot in our ward and in this church. I fill a spot in my home and I am so thankful to be sealed to my family forever. I am lucky to be married to a man who is working hard to become something better and to provide for my family! I am blessed!!